We are on day 18 of a 100+ day RV trip. I spent hours planning and replanning, all the while knowing that I'd have to replan many times over on our trip.
Here are the changes we've made already...
*Staying an extra day in Richmond, due to weather.
*Going to Myrtle Beach instead of Pigeon Forge, due to weather.
*Boondocking our way from Myrtle Beach to Texarkana instead of staying a few days in Alabama, mostly due to weather.
As you can see, the weather plays a big part in our planning...and the weather is one thing we just can't count on ahead of time!
So far, the only place there hasn't been snow/slush/ice was Myrtle Beach. The worst of it hit us in Louisiana, which cut our driving down to only 130 miles that day and had us all kissing the ground and praising God we were safe when we stopped for the day.
This trip, we opted to take two vehicles for several reasons...
*Ease of getting into cities or hard to navigate in areas.
*Ability to get parts and not be totally stranded if there is a vehicle breakdown.
*More room when traveling...6 people in a crew cab is pretty squishy on driving days, and the kids are NOT getting smaller!
*Fuel cost is really not higher, as fuel is cheaper everywhere but NY, and we'd be driving both vehicles if we were home, too!
The thing I failed to really consider is...driving two vehicles means Momma has to drive all.the.time. We've gone just over 2,000 miles, and *I* have driven every single mile! On our last big trip (51 days), I drove absolutely none of those miles. Brian used to be an over the road tractor trailer driver, regularly running 1,800-2,500 miles every week. I, however, reach my limit around 300 miles a day, which is about 5 hours of driving and 2-3 coffee/potty/fuel stops. My limit also seems to be reduced with consecutive days of driving.
We had four days in a row of driving from Myrtle Beach to Texarkana (just over 1,000 miles). The first day, we pushed hard, the weather was good, and we made it over 400 miles. The second day, we went just over 300 miles and the last hour was rough for me. The third day was the 130 miles in the snow and freezing rain day, surrounded by people who are not accustomed to winter driving. The fourth day was only 160 miles, on much improved roads, but by that fourth day, I'm not sure I could have gone more than 200 miles.
Ahead in our travels...mountains. Big ones. And I will need to drive through them...yes, this two vehicle decision was both a great and challenging one!
Another challenge related to driving is the reality that most of the time, I am behind Brian as he hauls the camper with his truck. Every "near miss", I can't not see. Every car that cuts in front of him makes me cringe. Every time someone won't allow him to merge, my own anxiety increases.
I fully admit to dealing with PTSD with car accidents/near accidents being the biggest trigger. It's not fun, but I am dealing with this by listening to calming Christian music when we are in high traffic areas. I also quote Scriptures as they come to me. Most importantly, we are praying...a LOT. We pray when we start our driving day. We pray over the walkie talkies. I pray under my breath. And we praise God every day for a relatively uneventful journey. God is stretching us all...and I pray our faith muscles are growing each day.
God is good...we are enjoying the journey.
Peace, out...
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Friday, February 6, 2015
Homeschooling...think outside the box!
Encouragement to keep trying new things, if what you're doing is not working with one of your kids...
Hannah has a math problem. And possibly an attention/focus problem. She seems to not be able to memorize math facts at all. Totally foreign to me, as I never have to teach my boys math...they are always a step ahead of their curriculum. It's okay...not everyone is good at the same things, and everyone struggles with something, right?
So...I held her back a year, just in math (3rd instead of 4th). She just finished the second time through 3rd grade math. She is currently working through three different 4th grade math programs simultaneously: Kitchen Math (found online, free, no longer available), Mammoth Math 4, and Bob Jones Math 4 Review Sheets (I already had these). She does 2 days of KM, 2 days of MM, and 1 day of BJU. All have totally different teaching methods and goals. In Kitchen Math, she can use a calculator. In Mammoth Math, she is learning new concepts (this is rough...) and we are moving very slowly and using lots of manipulatives. In BJU, often the concepts are ahead of MM, so we do it totally together. There is also a lot of drill review. She uses Unifix cubes for these drills and it does seem to be increasing her speed.
Ten years ago, when we started homeschooling, using three different curricula in this way would have never occurred to me. But it's working for her! The constant change in methods and levels seems to actually help her.
If what you're doing is not working...try something new! Mix it up! Think outside the box to do what each individual child needs. Isn't that why we homeschool?
Hannah has a math problem. And possibly an attention/focus problem. She seems to not be able to memorize math facts at all. Totally foreign to me, as I never have to teach my boys math...they are always a step ahead of their curriculum. It's okay...not everyone is good at the same things, and everyone struggles with something, right?
So...I held her back a year, just in math (3rd instead of 4th). She just finished the second time through 3rd grade math. She is currently working through three different 4th grade math programs simultaneously: Kitchen Math (found online, free, no longer available), Mammoth Math 4, and Bob Jones Math 4 Review Sheets (I already had these). She does 2 days of KM, 2 days of MM, and 1 day of BJU. All have totally different teaching methods and goals. In Kitchen Math, she can use a calculator. In Mammoth Math, she is learning new concepts (this is rough...) and we are moving very slowly and using lots of manipulatives. In BJU, often the concepts are ahead of MM, so we do it totally together. There is also a lot of drill review. She uses Unifix cubes for these drills and it does seem to be increasing her speed.
Ten years ago, when we started homeschooling, using three different curricula in this way would have never occurred to me. But it's working for her! The constant change in methods and levels seems to actually help her.
If what you're doing is not working...try something new! Mix it up! Think outside the box to do what each individual child needs. Isn't that why we homeschool?
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Baby Bottle Drive
January and February are usually the months we put all our change into baby bottles. The contents of these bottles go to support the local crisis pregnancy center, Carenet. Our whole family has fun finding change in the cracks and crevices of the van and the couch, and we love watching the bottles fill up!
This year, though, we have a dilemma. We are about to head out on a 4 month RV trip. What does that have to do with spare change? Well, when we are at campgrounds, the kids buy treats at the camp store with change we have saved up for that purpose. We will also be in need of rolls of quarters for laundry. We've been saving our change since our last camping trip, last July.
Think, think, think...what could we do, to make our usual donation AND have change for our trip?
Solution: Count and roll all the change (hello, real life homeschooling!). Keep the change and write a check for that same amount!
We ended up with $78.50 in rolled coins, plus some more partial rolls! Multiply our gift, God, and bless the ministry of Carenet, please!
This year, though, we have a dilemma. We are about to head out on a 4 month RV trip. What does that have to do with spare change? Well, when we are at campgrounds, the kids buy treats at the camp store with change we have saved up for that purpose. We will also be in need of rolls of quarters for laundry. We've been saving our change since our last camping trip, last July.
Think, think, think...what could we do, to make our usual donation AND have change for our trip?
Solution: Count and roll all the change (hello, real life homeschooling!). Keep the change and write a check for that same amount!
We ended up with $78.50 in rolled coins, plus some more partial rolls! Multiply our gift, God, and bless the ministry of Carenet, please!
Monday, January 12, 2015
One Word 2015
I realize we're about halfway through January already (how did that happen?!), but I have had trouble choosing my One Word this year. Several have rolled through my brain and heart for days, but one of those has come up in the sermon for the past two weeks, so I'm going to go with that one and look forward to how God reveals it to me through the entire year.
My One Word for 2015...
REDEEM.
My One Word for 2015...
REDEEM.
Sunday, January 4, 2015
The story of 2014...He makes all things NEW!
Before we get too far into 2015, I really need to recap 2014...
What a year! In my 34 years of life, I believe in 30 years or so, this one will still stand out for me. So many amazing happenings, I'm not sure where to start, so I think chronological order will work best... Oh, and my one word for the year was "New," so that will be spread through the year, also.
January started with a wait. The kind of waiting that makes even phone-a-phobes like me keep their phone with them at all times, fully charged. The kind of waiting that makes you wake up several times a night and check your phone, just in case. The kind of unpredictable waiting that involves the unpredictable nature of childbirth. January 6th, right as the buttcrack of dawn appeared, I got a text saying it seemed this would be the day we had been waiting for! I arrived at my sister's house to find her vacuuming and cleaning with fast purpose. By late afternoon, I was so privileged to be present for the birth of my niece, Marlee Medora. This is the only birth I have been present for from "this end." Marlee was born at home, in a warm pool of water, AND with the amniotic sac intact until the very last moment. Truly amazing...and my sister rocks labor and delivery! NEW life!
February brought the usual in our family...lots of birthdays. Levi turned 7 and took a bunch of friends to The Lego Movie and for pizza afterward. Noah turned 14 and had a couple of friends over for movies and junk food. Hannah turned 9 and had a sledding party that ended up being attended by only homeschooled friends, though others were invited. Nick...he turned 13. If you know anything about our past with him, you know that we haven't seen him in person in over 2 years. On a whim, we brought his birthday presents to him (without warning, so his mother couldn't make sure he wasn't there). I was actually opposed to even trying, out of fear of disappointment for myself and the other kids. However, Nick was home and his mother did allow him to come out and see us for 10 minutes. It was only 10 minutes, but it was 10 minutes...and we were so thankful! We have been communicating with him almost weekly via Oovoo. Things will never be the same as they were before "that day," but at this point, we are thankful for having contact at all. NEW hope!
March had us finishing up trip planning for an RV trip to Texas and back! We left March 25th and were gone for 51 nights. We stayed in campgrounds or in the driveway of friends or family members. We had several day stops in Viriginia, North Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. We were in Texas for about 2 weeks. all the way from the Gulf Coast (High Island, TX) to DFW and Texarkana, where my husband has family. It was the first trip to any ocean for the three little kids and me (Brian and Noah saw the ocean in Florida and Haiti when they went to Haiti in 2013). One of the main purposes for our trip was to visit Brian's Granny in a Dallas suburb. Unfortunately, there was some family drama when Brian's dad died. We don't really understand why, but Brian's uncle hated Brian's dad and because this uncle is now taking care of Granny, he would not allow us to see her. That was heartbreaking and there were many tears shed. I will never understand...
All of April was spent on the road. Amazing... Part of why we took this trip was to see if we might want to be fulltime RVers once the 6 year legal thing got done. We did, indeed, have this as one of our main plans, until something so clearly more awesome came up. We did love our time in the camper together, and learned some things about what we wanted our next camper to have and ideas for longer trips in the future, even if the fulltime RV thing didn't pan out. NEW dreams!
May brought us back home, the week after Mother's Day. We were all exhausted, but proud of ourselves for doing something so big and kind of terrifying. We did have some scary incidents, with tornadoes closeby, mountain travels, and a reoccurring fuel problem that we didn't figure out until months later. NEW adventures!
When we came home, we realized that the house right next to my sister's new house was for sale. But the whole house thing needs its very own post...so stay tuned for that!
June was not too exciting (sometimes, that's a good thing!). We did loan our camper to my parents for an anniversary weekend getaway, and then got stuck at the campground for a few extra days when we went up. The truck's fuel issues decided to flare up big-time and we ended up having parts overnighted to us from Buffalo and then my boys fixed it under the camper awning in the pouring rain. Good times...
July...summer! We had our usual week of VBS at church, where I was a crew leader for the first time ever. The day that ended, we headed out to NW Pennsylvania, so Hannah could go to a new horse camp...Miracle Mountain Ranch. She had a great time there and will definitely return! We celebrated Brian's 6th tractorversary, the first one to fall on a Sunday, away from home. Very nice...and we knew the end of the legal mess was coming soon!
August...my sweet Essie-Mae turned 6 and celebrated with a bowling party, which she won at the bowling league awards ceremony. I started working for our church and Christian school, as treasurer's assistant. My first paid position in my field! Excellent learning opportunites for me in a wonderful environment, and I am thankful for that! At the end of August, I graduated from Empire State College, with a Bachelor's of Science in Business, Management, and Economics, Concentration in Accounting! This has been a very long journey and I am so glad to be done! Who knows where God will lead me... NEW horizons!
September started a new homeschool year. The kids at home are in 9th, 4th, 2nd, and 1st grades. What an adventure! Soccer and Awana started back up, along with FLL (First Lego League...lego robotics), so our calendar was very full. Hannah tried out the goalie position, which was terrifying to me, but she stuck it out all season and improved quite a bit! Brave, strong girl... Along with the business of fall, we spent all month going back and forth with offers to settle the 6 year thing. Exciting and mentally/emotionally draining, all at once! September 24th was the day we settled. We got the call while we were on a homeschool field trip at Fort Stanwix...and I will never forget it, as long as I live. Finished. Done. Finally! NEW beginnings!
October...we bought a house! More on that in the house post. ;)
November...we moved into that house! More on that...
December...we have worked on making the house our own. More on that, also!
It was a stressful year, with a lot of good mixed in. When I think of the year as a whole, overwhelming gratitude is all that I come up with. God has been good to us, so very good. We don't deserve any of it, not really, and we are thankful. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
Happy New Year...and may the peace of God fill your heart and life with overwhelming joy and gratitude, also!
What a year! In my 34 years of life, I believe in 30 years or so, this one will still stand out for me. So many amazing happenings, I'm not sure where to start, so I think chronological order will work best... Oh, and my one word for the year was "New," so that will be spread through the year, also.
January started with a wait. The kind of waiting that makes even phone-a-phobes like me keep their phone with them at all times, fully charged. The kind of waiting that makes you wake up several times a night and check your phone, just in case. The kind of unpredictable waiting that involves the unpredictable nature of childbirth. January 6th, right as the buttcrack of dawn appeared, I got a text saying it seemed this would be the day we had been waiting for! I arrived at my sister's house to find her vacuuming and cleaning with fast purpose. By late afternoon, I was so privileged to be present for the birth of my niece, Marlee Medora. This is the only birth I have been present for from "this end." Marlee was born at home, in a warm pool of water, AND with the amniotic sac intact until the very last moment. Truly amazing...and my sister rocks labor and delivery! NEW life!
February brought the usual in our family...lots of birthdays. Levi turned 7 and took a bunch of friends to The Lego Movie and for pizza afterward. Noah turned 14 and had a couple of friends over for movies and junk food. Hannah turned 9 and had a sledding party that ended up being attended by only homeschooled friends, though others were invited. Nick...he turned 13. If you know anything about our past with him, you know that we haven't seen him in person in over 2 years. On a whim, we brought his birthday presents to him (without warning, so his mother couldn't make sure he wasn't there). I was actually opposed to even trying, out of fear of disappointment for myself and the other kids. However, Nick was home and his mother did allow him to come out and see us for 10 minutes. It was only 10 minutes, but it was 10 minutes...and we were so thankful! We have been communicating with him almost weekly via Oovoo. Things will never be the same as they were before "that day," but at this point, we are thankful for having contact at all. NEW hope!
March had us finishing up trip planning for an RV trip to Texas and back! We left March 25th and were gone for 51 nights. We stayed in campgrounds or in the driveway of friends or family members. We had several day stops in Viriginia, North Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, and Ohio. We were in Texas for about 2 weeks. all the way from the Gulf Coast (High Island, TX) to DFW and Texarkana, where my husband has family. It was the first trip to any ocean for the three little kids and me (Brian and Noah saw the ocean in Florida and Haiti when they went to Haiti in 2013). One of the main purposes for our trip was to visit Brian's Granny in a Dallas suburb. Unfortunately, there was some family drama when Brian's dad died. We don't really understand why, but Brian's uncle hated Brian's dad and because this uncle is now taking care of Granny, he would not allow us to see her. That was heartbreaking and there were many tears shed. I will never understand...
All of April was spent on the road. Amazing... Part of why we took this trip was to see if we might want to be fulltime RVers once the 6 year legal thing got done. We did, indeed, have this as one of our main plans, until something so clearly more awesome came up. We did love our time in the camper together, and learned some things about what we wanted our next camper to have and ideas for longer trips in the future, even if the fulltime RV thing didn't pan out. NEW dreams!
May brought us back home, the week after Mother's Day. We were all exhausted, but proud of ourselves for doing something so big and kind of terrifying. We did have some scary incidents, with tornadoes closeby, mountain travels, and a reoccurring fuel problem that we didn't figure out until months later. NEW adventures!
When we came home, we realized that the house right next to my sister's new house was for sale. But the whole house thing needs its very own post...so stay tuned for that!
June was not too exciting (sometimes, that's a good thing!). We did loan our camper to my parents for an anniversary weekend getaway, and then got stuck at the campground for a few extra days when we went up. The truck's fuel issues decided to flare up big-time and we ended up having parts overnighted to us from Buffalo and then my boys fixed it under the camper awning in the pouring rain. Good times...
July...summer! We had our usual week of VBS at church, where I was a crew leader for the first time ever. The day that ended, we headed out to NW Pennsylvania, so Hannah could go to a new horse camp...Miracle Mountain Ranch. She had a great time there and will definitely return! We celebrated Brian's 6th tractorversary, the first one to fall on a Sunday, away from home. Very nice...and we knew the end of the legal mess was coming soon!
August...my sweet Essie-Mae turned 6 and celebrated with a bowling party, which she won at the bowling league awards ceremony. I started working for our church and Christian school, as treasurer's assistant. My first paid position in my field! Excellent learning opportunites for me in a wonderful environment, and I am thankful for that! At the end of August, I graduated from Empire State College, with a Bachelor's of Science in Business, Management, and Economics, Concentration in Accounting! This has been a very long journey and I am so glad to be done! Who knows where God will lead me... NEW horizons!
September started a new homeschool year. The kids at home are in 9th, 4th, 2nd, and 1st grades. What an adventure! Soccer and Awana started back up, along with FLL (First Lego League...lego robotics), so our calendar was very full. Hannah tried out the goalie position, which was terrifying to me, but she stuck it out all season and improved quite a bit! Brave, strong girl... Along with the business of fall, we spent all month going back and forth with offers to settle the 6 year thing. Exciting and mentally/emotionally draining, all at once! September 24th was the day we settled. We got the call while we were on a homeschool field trip at Fort Stanwix...and I will never forget it, as long as I live. Finished. Done. Finally! NEW beginnings!
October...we bought a house! More on that in the house post. ;)
November...we moved into that house! More on that...
December...we have worked on making the house our own. More on that, also!
It was a stressful year, with a lot of good mixed in. When I think of the year as a whole, overwhelming gratitude is all that I come up with. God has been good to us, so very good. We don't deserve any of it, not really, and we are thankful. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
Happy New Year...and may the peace of God fill your heart and life with overwhelming joy and gratitude, also!
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Over-thinking 8/20/12
An old post that couldn't be posted when it was written...thank you, God, for bringing us to a NEW season of life and no more watchers!
I'm really sick of having to over-think everything. Life is complicated enough, trying to get everything done that needs to be done in a manner and by a person or people by whom every such thing can be done. Yes, I am purposely being obscure (and obtuse?) here.
You see, that sheetrock did not do itself. Of course not. Apparently however, if I am going to mention something in passing (with which I was seeking to make more of a spiritual application than a literal physical one...again with the obscure...), I need to also make sure to be very specific about what was or wasn't done and by whom.
Or else just not speak/type/write at all.
Someday, this will be done. Maybe then I can live without people watching my every move again. Not that it will change one iota of my/our life. Other than having to deal with deliberate obtusity (is that a word? it is now.).
In the meantime. I will not shut up. I will not go away. I will not cease to be me. I will not stop living and talking about my life, either. For you see, this blog is for me. It's a somewhat creative outlet. A journal of sorts. A history of my life that my loved ones will be able to read long after I am gone.
It's not about you. It's not about Brian. It's about me and about minute connections God allows between my life in the present and an eternal God who knows all things. And sometimes...it's just about life. Life as it is. That's it. I'm sorry if I forget to explain every detail of life in a way that leaves no one questioning anything ever. No, scratch that...I'm actually not sorry. So there.
So now I have a little story to tell you...please don't assume this story is actually about me, because maybe it is, maybe it's not. But here it is...once upon a time, a room needed to be sheetrocked. The man who lived in the house was not able to do the job himself. He directed two pre/mid-pubescent boys in the destruction and disposal of the old sheetrock, but did not do the actual work himself. At the store, the employees of said store loaded the trailer. At home, the wife, son, and friend of the man unloaded the sheets of sheetROCK (hey, is this why they are so heavy?? I may or may not know from personal experience though. Can't say.). The man rented a sheetrock lift and had more friends come over to put the sheetrock up, along with the wife and son (again). See, he was a smart man and knew that that sheetrock wasn't going to lift itself and neither was he going to be able to lift the sheetrock. Not a lot of thought went into this, however, as the man has not been able to do such things for over 4 years now. The sheetrock is still not complete (almost though!). All readers of this story will rest assured that this man is still well aware that he cannot/may not/will not do this job himself, as he would have in the past. See, this is the story of life now for this man...calling other people to help him out. So when the wife wrote about this instance, she may have neglected to mention exactly how this sheetrock job was going to be completed, because for her, this is all just life now. It's not even something that was thought about. It's kind of a "duh" thing in this woman's house...as in...duh, of course this man who is not able to do these things is not the one doing these things.
Duh.
P.S. He also never once climbed through the window. He simply waited until the job (which he did NOT perform) was at a point where the plastic could come down. And then? He walked through the doorway, as he always does. With a terrible limp and lack of balance. But he didn't really notice that either...because this is just life for the man now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm really sick of having to over-think everything. Life is complicated enough, trying to get everything done that needs to be done in a manner and by a person or people by whom every such thing can be done. Yes, I am purposely being obscure (and obtuse?) here.
You see, that sheetrock did not do itself. Of course not. Apparently however, if I am going to mention something in passing (with which I was seeking to make more of a spiritual application than a literal physical one...again with the obscure...), I need to also make sure to be very specific about what was or wasn't done and by whom.
Or else just not speak/type/write at all.
Someday, this will be done. Maybe then I can live without people watching my every move again. Not that it will change one iota of my/our life. Other than having to deal with deliberate obtusity (is that a word? it is now.).
In the meantime. I will not shut up. I will not go away. I will not cease to be me. I will not stop living and talking about my life, either. For you see, this blog is for me. It's a somewhat creative outlet. A journal of sorts. A history of my life that my loved ones will be able to read long after I am gone.
It's not about you. It's not about Brian. It's about me and about minute connections God allows between my life in the present and an eternal God who knows all things. And sometimes...it's just about life. Life as it is. That's it. I'm sorry if I forget to explain every detail of life in a way that leaves no one questioning anything ever. No, scratch that...I'm actually not sorry. So there.
So now I have a little story to tell you...please don't assume this story is actually about me, because maybe it is, maybe it's not. But here it is...once upon a time, a room needed to be sheetrocked. The man who lived in the house was not able to do the job himself. He directed two pre/mid-pubescent boys in the destruction and disposal of the old sheetrock, but did not do the actual work himself. At the store, the employees of said store loaded the trailer. At home, the wife, son, and friend of the man unloaded the sheets of sheetROCK (hey, is this why they are so heavy?? I may or may not know from personal experience though. Can't say.). The man rented a sheetrock lift and had more friends come over to put the sheetrock up, along with the wife and son (again). See, he was a smart man and knew that that sheetrock wasn't going to lift itself and neither was he going to be able to lift the sheetrock. Not a lot of thought went into this, however, as the man has not been able to do such things for over 4 years now. The sheetrock is still not complete (almost though!). All readers of this story will rest assured that this man is still well aware that he cannot/may not/will not do this job himself, as he would have in the past. See, this is the story of life now for this man...calling other people to help him out. So when the wife wrote about this instance, she may have neglected to mention exactly how this sheetrock job was going to be completed, because for her, this is all just life now. It's not even something that was thought about. It's kind of a "duh" thing in this woman's house...as in...duh, of course this man who is not able to do these things is not the one doing these things.
Duh.
P.S. He also never once climbed through the window. He simply waited until the job (which he did NOT perform) was at a point where the plastic could come down. And then? He walked through the doorway, as he always does. With a terrible limp and lack of balance. But he didn't really notice that either...because this is just life for the man now.
What's in your heart to do?
For those not in the know...here's a severely shortened and condensed list of what has happened in our lives over the past three months:
- A 6 year long legal process was finally completed. It ended well. God is faithful...and we are thankful!
- We bought a house! Twenty-two days from first offer to closing...yes, whirlwind is an appropriate term. This house also happens to be right across a driveway from my sister's house. <3 li="">
- We're moving! Exciting and terrifying...both of my houses are currently in a state of chaos. We are blessed and even looking forward to the many hours of working hard to make the house our own. We plan to be sleeping there by the end of next week (eek! and squee!), amid the construction mess.
Update out of the way, I wanted to share a conversation Esther and I had...and the subsequent conversation God and I had.
We have known for a while that this time of great change was coming, but we didn't know then what direction we would be going. We had a lot of good options in front of us and no clue which way to go. One evening, as I washed dishes, my sweet girl approached me, wanting to know what she should write about in her notebook. I told her she should write about anything that makes her happy, and that was a little scary for her, as she wanted me to tell her what to write about and not have to come up with it on her own. I told her that writing was always a good thing, and whatever she wrote would be wonderful, if she did it from a pure, loving heart. She eventually chose to write about the puppies (11!!) we were raising at that time. As she walked away, God began to speak to my own heart...
We all have a lot of options in life, every single day. Sometimes the sheer number of options is overwhelming, and we don't know which way to go. I have often wished God would just get out His heavenly megaphone and tell me which direction to go! Which car should we buy? Which job should we take? Where should we live? What should we do?! We want to please God, just as my little girl wanted to please me, and we think we need more specific direction in order to do that. Wouldn't it make life simpler if every time we asked God a question, He just gave us a straight, clear answer?
But what if...what if God knows our hearts long to follow Him? What if, though He surely knows the ultimate outcome, He wants us to take a leap of faith without having those straight, clear directions? What if He just wants us to write the story? What if He knows it will be great, no matter which choice we make from a pure, loving heart? What if we let go of the fear and just did what He put in our hearts to do?
But what if...what if God knows our hearts long to follow Him? What if, though He surely knows the ultimate outcome, He wants us to take a leap of faith without having those straight, clear directions? What if He just wants us to write the story? What if He knows it will be great, no matter which choice we make from a pure, loving heart? What if we let go of the fear and just did what He put in our hearts to do?
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