A good day

Holy canoli!  I haven't posted here in almost 3 months.  Better get cracking if I'm going to meet my goal of 52 posts this year!

Thursdays are rough around here.  They are very busy days and because I am near stores, I usually also try to fit in some necessary grocery shopping.  This wrecks Levi's world just about every week because if it were up to him, he would leave the house much less than we do and only go one place per outing.  In my world, I just don't have time for that.

To add to the roughness of leaving the house at all, Thursday is swim and gym day for us.  Forty-five minutes of swimming lessons followed by a forty-five minute gym class with other homeschoolers.  This has been Levi's first year with the program and it has been a S.T.R.U.G.G.L.E.  For a while, the Y gave me free child watch for Esther, so that I could be right with Levi for the entire program and not have to worry about what Esther was doing.  We have weaned off of that totally in the swimming area and about halfway in the gym portion.  For Levi, this program is not about learning to swim or play games.  This is social skills therapy and occupational therapy.  This is helping my little boy learn to live in a world where everything doesn't always go your way and where not too many people care about your low tolerance for frustration.  These are lessons in stretching our comfort zone, and they are NOT fun.

Today, though...TODAY...while I was watching through the glass into the pool area, I witnessed an amazing thing.  My little boy FINALLY was able to put his ears in the water and really swim on his back!!  This may not seem amazing to anyone but me, but I can assure you that this is a miracle that has been 28 long weeks in the making.  Then, not ten minutes later, I look up and see him putting his face in the water and blowing bubbles!  No way...  I would be lying if I told you that I remained calm.  No, I was that crazy mom out in the viewing area, jumping up and down, demanding that everyone look at my little man and SEE the amazing thing he just did!  With tears just rolling down my face, of course.  Then he looked over, to see if I was watching, and I gave him our standard sign for 'you're doing great, keep it up!'.

Two thumbs up, Levi, two thumbs way up!!

Then gym came...and that is always a little rougher.  There is a new teacher, who only observed last week and was on her own this week.  She has a natural, wonderful knack of working with my boy (and all of the kids, really).  He did struggle a couple of times (very minor, for him), but she was able to capture his attention and got him back in the games quickly.  After gym, she headed straight for me and asked me how she can best help him.  She also asked, before I could get to it, if he is on the spectrum.  She recognized it in him because she has worked with other kids just like him.  Ahhhh...the relief in knowing that the person helping your child really gets it.

Suddenly, life is looking a whole lot brighter...

Except, you aren't.

Levi (playing Plants vs. Zombies): Face my FURY!

Me:  Hey, Levi, do you know what fury means?

Levi: Nope.  Do you?

Me:  It means your wrath, like you are angry and going to kick their butts.

Levi:  Mom.  Did you know that sometimes you think you are funny?  Except, you aren't.

Me:  Yeah, yeah...I'm sure that won't be the last time you say that to me, bud.

Levi:  Definitely not.

Time4Learning Review

This is what I have to post...

Over the next 30 days, I will be reviewing Time4Learning's online education program. It can be used as a homeschool curriculum, an afterschool tutorial or for summer learning. My opinion will be entirely my own, so be sure to come back and read about my experience. You can write your own curriculum review, too!

I'll add to that...

Time4Learning is something I had been considering trying for some of my kids, particularly Levi.  He loves the computer and is quite adept at doing all kinds of things on it.  He is also fairly resistant to traditional schooling methods.  It would be nice for him to be able to do at least some of his schooling in his preferred method.  When I got an email asking me to review this for free for 30 days...I could not resist!

Here we go... :)

ETA...it looks like I can add all 4 kids for the free 30 day trial!  That will make for a much better review, I'm sure.  My kids are in Pre-K, K, 2nd, and 7th grades, so it will be a nice variety

Awesomeness

Noah and Levi were talking about hunting, since Noah recently got his small game license. 

N:  So what should we hunt, Levi?  Woodchucks?  Bunnies?

L:  I am way too young to be seeing dead bunnies.

L:  Unless a zombie is eating it.




Yep, that is my awesome kid... ;)

Through the fence

A conversation overheard between Levi and the next door neighbor (7 yo), through the fence...

Levi: Hey, you know why I'm home all the time now?

Neighbor:  No, why?

Levi:  It's because I'm homeschooled now.  So I'll be home always.  Except when I leave.

Neighbor:  Actually, it's summer break.  That's why you're home.  And I'm home.

Levi:  Really??



Uh-oh.  I may now be in trouble for having him do school work when it's supposed to be summer.  LOL

Sandbox conversations: Where is Heaven?

E: Maybe on the roof?
L: Way higher, Essie.
E: Maybe at the moon?
L: Maybe. We can go there someday, if we love Jesus in our hearts.
E: Yeah, we should do that...

ADHD musings

Levi has two official diagnoses...ADHD and SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder).  We are close to an Asperger's diagnosis for him, but that may take a bit to sort out because he is only 5.  I think it's just a matter of time before that official diagnosis.

But...I find myself questioning the ADHD for the past couple of weeks.  I decided to not give him his meds while we were camping two weekends ago, and he did so well that I haven't given them since.  Is he still a wild man?  Yep.  But what I am seeing makes me think this has more to do with the SPD and his near constant state of sensory overload than it does with ADHD.  I think ADHD is just so common and "understood", that it's an easier diagnosis to give than any version of ASD (autism spectrum disorder).

The biggest change?  Very little crying and whining in the evenings.  This is the second ADHD medication that I was able to link to that in Levi.  No more.  We're done.  I will learn to deal with Levi as Levi needs.  We will work on his diet.  We will pay close attention to his sensory needs and try to head off problems before they begin. 

We will love and train up our child with the understanding that God has created him as an amazing individual.  If he needs to jump 14,389 times a day...that's perfectly okay. :)

Why?

For a year or so, every time Levi puts shoes on, he will ask, "Why do they call it a tongue?"  It's gotten to be kind of a family joke that Levi loves that we play with him.

Today, this question was answered!

Levi tends to be very cranky in the morning, and he has to get dressed and on the bus at 6:30.  This morning, I told him his sneaker was going to gobble his foot up, trying to get him to smile or maybe even laugh, but at least stop screaming.

His revelation..."MOM!!!  That's why they call it a tongue!"

You're welcome, Levi, for finally finding an answer to your question.  I can't wait to hear the next one you get stuck on.

More than...

An exchange between Levi (L) and I (M for Mom) this afternoon:

M: Levi, I love you more than cake.

L: I love you more than frosting.

M: I love you more than yogurt.

L: I love you more than french fries.

That's a lot of love. <3  The boy does love frosting and french fries!  LOL

But not even close to the love the Father showed to me as He endured His only Son dying on the cross for my sins...

Can you even imagine having that much love for anyone?  I can't.

Just another day

Hard plastic toys hurtling through the air, connecting with a sibling or a wall.

Spreading little papers all over the living room and refusing to pick them up.

When made to pick up, shredding the papers and shoving them into his mouth.

Screaming.  Crying.  No, wailing.

Hiding and pooping in his pants.

Pinching, hitting, pushing, throwing.

Refusing to eat anything but carbs.  Throwing his food on the floor.

Attacking baby sister as if he hates her, when I know he doesn't!

Just another day for Levi.  We have had three in a row like that, actually.  I am exhausted and don't know how to help him.  There must be a way...

Four years (and a day)

A day late and a dollar short...Levi's 4th birthday was yesterday!

It was such a busy day! He went to school, and brought his favorite snack (cinnamon bagels with cream cheese!) to share with friends. I had school on both campuses and then rushed home to make the birthday dinner he requested...more bagels. I tried to convince him that he really wanted bagel SANDWICHES like everyone else, but that ended up with egg, sausage, and cheese on the floor and only the bagel in his belly. I should have just listened to him. Ha.  He requested chocolate chip cookies for dessert, and we were all happy to help him eat them!

Yes, I know it's sideways.  Turn your head.

Achievements for the year...we finally ditched the diapers/pullups! We learned that you have sensory processing disorder, and maybe some other alphabet soup diagnosis...but none of that changes who you are to us and in our family. We have learned that different is not bad...just different!

What I love about you...

• You make me laugh.  Every. Single. Day.  You are the funniest kid ever!
• Crash hugs!  Just warn me first...
• Your strong emotions.  There is never a doubt where anyone stands with you!
• Your amazing acrobatic abilities.
• Your awesomely awesomeness!
• You are mine.

I'm so glad I get to be your mom, Levi!  Four is going to be a wonderful year, I just know it!

First week of school for Levi

Day 1...He got up and dressed super quickly.  The bus surprised us by being 15 minutes earlier than we thought, but we were ready!  On the way out the door, we had a little disagreement over him wanting to bring crackers with him in case he didn't like the food there.  He was smiling when he got on the bus...and sobbing when he got off.  He had fallen asleep and woken up in a strange place.  He doesn't wake up well even in a familiar place.  He wouldn't talk about school, though the daily report said he did well.  All I could get out of him was, "I had to sit at a table 5 times and it was NOT fun."  Of course, I didn't push too hard either.  Destressed with Mario, and wouldn't take his coat off until bed time.  Peed in my bed while playing.  This is all new to both of us.

Day 2...Again dressed quickly, surprising me.  He was very excited this morning, so the first day must have been more fun than he let on.  He even got off the bus smiling this time, though still cranky all evening.  School wears him out, even with a nap on the way there and on the way home (1 hour + bus ride!).  Mommy was nervous today, but daily report says he did well.  Destressed again with Mario the second he got home, but I successfully cut it off at half an hour.  Peed in my bed AGAIN...marking his territory?  Mario has to get out of my room!

Day 3...Didn't want to get dressed.  Ah, here is the Levi I am familiar with.  I'm sure there will be some days he goes to school in jammies, but not today.  Also didn't want to wear his boots, "Why do I have to wear boots if I'm inside at school??"  Reminded him that he does sometimes go out at school and we want his piggies to be toasty warm on the bus.  Sneakers are in the backpack.  Three inches of new snow on the way out to the bus convinced him that boots were a good idea.  Nana got him off the bus today, as Brian and I had appointments in Syracuse.  I'm not sure how he did today, as the contents of his backpack were strewn through the house and I couldn't find his daily report.  He pooped in his pants tonight, which he hasn't done in a while.

Day 4..."I have to go to school AGAIN??  I did it every day!"  Still got dressed and got on the bus pretty easily.  Daily report says he did well again.  More than a bit of Mommy guilt floating around today.  How is it that he is marked "happy" every day in school and he is just miserable and destructive at home?  What is wrong with me that I can't make him a happy little boy?  And surely it must make me a bad mom to feel such relief at being able to work with the other kids and not worry about what Levi is into now.  Sigh.  One more school day in this week...oh, and he peed in my bed again.  He hasn't had this many accidents in the past month.

Day 5...Very cranky getting dressed this morning.  And when the bus came, it was a substitute driver AND aide, which worried me, but apparently he did okay.  Daily report says, "He is doing wonderfully!"  I'm glad.  And sad.  I do hope he comes out with the same behaviors we've been dealing with at home.  Will they think we made it all up?  Pooped in his pants again tonight.  Ugh.  I reminded him that there is no school tomorrow; hoping he'll sleep in and catch up on some of his lost sleep.

SATURDAY!!!!  Woke up at 8 and in a very good mood.  He does appear to be learning some things already.  Hannah was pestering him and instead of flying off the handle, he told her, "My teacher says we have to be kind, Hannah, and that was not kind."  It was a rather shocking conversation between the two of them. 


Observations:

• He has had an accident every single day this week.  This has got to be related to school starting, but I have no idea how to deal with it other than hope he adjusts quickly and it stops.
• I am on an emotional rollercoaster, alternately very happy over the decision to send him to school and distraught with my failings as Levi's mom.
• I think 5 days a week is too much for him.  These next two weeks are 4 day weeks, so hopefully that will help with the adjustment.
• We survived the first week.  I survived the first week.

Finding the problem is a huge part of solving it!

I am excited!

Levi has an almost official diagnosis of PDD...sensory processing disorder along with mild autism. 

This has not been an easy process to get through emotionally.  No one wants their kid to be disabled in any way.  No one wants their kid to need help to succeed.  No one likes the thought of their kid being labeled.

BUT!

Now that we have the label, help is on the way!  We're not crazy.  Other people can see what we are seeing, and we agree with their thoughts.  We have a team, a big team, of people who want to help us help Levi.  There are a ton of resources opened up to us with this diagnosis, and probably even more when it becomes official.  We have access to experts in dealing with these kinds of issues.  Experts who have treated and helped lots of children and parents, who have knowledge and tools that Brian and I just don't have.  Yet.

I have signed up for a 3-part workshop on autism offered through a local college (not the one I am enrolled in).  Levi is about to start therapy with a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, and a special education integration teacher (??not sure what this one is yet??).  I have found a monthly support group very close to home.  He will be enrolled in Head Start as soon as possible (which isn't right away...there is a waiting list and 4 year olds go first).

Help is on the way, and I am feeling very optimistic.  I was not feeling this way just a couple days ago.

Levi-ism of the day

Mom to Dyson, our Jack Russell:  Dyson, you're just going to have to hold your pee a minute.

Levi:  He can't!  He doesn't have any hands!

Overload

Whirring.

Buzzing.

Lights.

Water falling.

NOISE!

The wonder of the MOST. 

There weren't even many kids there, it being the first or second day for public schools in the area.  We went because we knew it would be deserted and we could give the kids more free reign and play full of learning.  It was a good day to go!

And yet, it was still too much for my littlest boy.  Complete sensory overload.

I've been watching him closer for the past month or so, terrified of what I am seeing.  We're having him evaluated for these issues and others.  Evaluated, and involving the public school system and the county mental health to help us figure out what is going on and help him.  If you know me, you know that it took quite a LOT to get me to go there for help.

So.  Today.  Lots of hands over ears, closing eyes.  Floppy out of control limbs.  Wouldn't go in the 5 story playhouse because of the stupid air compressor noise in one part of it.  Wouldn't walk near the giant beating heart, not afraid, just couldn't handle the noise (and that one was a low noise).

I've done some research on my own.  I've talked to a few friends that I know won't sugar coat it.  I've talked to the people evaluating him.  I consider myself to be pretty well educated on early child development, even though I've never formally studied it.  This, this thing that has overtaken my child, this is what I fear.  For I know what it is.  In my heart, I already know, and I'm just waiting for the "professionals" to confirm it and give it a name.

It breaks my heart!  Looking in his eyes, I can see when he has lost all control.  I want to lay down and throw a tantrum with him!  Oh, God, my precious boy...  Hold us both, won't You?

A day in the life of Levi...

5:57 am...Mom wakes up to a far away voice crying repeatedly, "I want my Momma."  Upon searching the livingroom and not finding Levi, Mom notices Levi outside in the driveway, with his pullup around his ankles, peeing all over himself and crying for Momma.

6:10 am...Levi finally calms down and gets in bed with mom and dad.  He claims to remember going outside, but I think maybe he was sleepwalking.  The front door was LOCKED way up high too...scary.

7:00 am...cousin Paislee arrives for the day.  No more sleep for Mr. Levi.  This is not a good thing.  He usually sleeps in until 9 or 10.

All through the day...
No, Levi.
Get down, Levi.
Do you want a spanking, Levi?
What did Momma say, Levi?
LEVI, GET OFF THE TOP OF THE VAN.
Levi, get out of the fridge.
Levi, we can't throw things at sister's head.  Flying guitars HURT.

Rinse and repeat about twenty times.

8:00 pm...passed out on the couch.  Gathering more energy for tomorrow, I'm sure...

I better get to bed soon or I'll never keep up with him.  Oh wait...he'll be at Valoo's tomorrow while Brian and I go for his preop appointment.  Think I should warn her?  Naaaaah...but I will bring her a Diet Pepsi and some chocolate.  LOL