Already thinking of next year...

It's only one day after Christmas and I'm already thinking of next Christmas.  The life of a mom, right?

We will be making some changes, making Christmas more simple next year.  Doing more for others, expecting less for ourselves.  It sounds great, but it won't be great until it is more than just words on a blog.

Something an online friend told me about years ago has stuck with me.  She buys her kids only 4 presents, plus stockings.  A want, a need, a wear, a read.  That's it.  Can it be that simple?  I think it can.  It should.  And it will be.

Caroling with Autism

Noah had the great idea for our family (well, the kids and I) to go Christmas caroling in our neighborhood and hand out plates of cookies.  Sounds great, right?

Actually, it went against every sane bone in my body (admittedly, there may not be many).  This involved knocking on doors of near-strangers and singing at the top of my lungs because I have to if I am asking the kids to.  But the scariest part of all...taking Mr. Unpredictable (a.k.a. Levi) on a walk in the dark to sing on porches of people who don't know us.




We made a few rules before we left:
1.  No touching snow with anything other than the snowboots on our feet.  This was because we knew it was going to be a long walk and touching snow means you get to be wet for the very long walk.
2.  Stay together.  Always.  No exceptions.
3.  Do not go into anyone's house unless Mom says so.

Turns out, my fears were well-founded.  The following is a list of all the crazy things Mr. Unpredictable did on our 2 hour long walk...
1.  Immediately walked through the highest snow he could find.
2.  Bent down and made a zombie snowman (his words) every 5 feet or so.  Again, touching the snow.
3.  Fell off a random neighbor's porch.  This was not accidental.  Yay for porch-side bushes.
4.  Inspected about 20 people's Christmas ornaments, no matter where that meant he had to walk.
5.  Opened the door and let a German Shepherd out, right at face level. :S  Thankfully, we know this particular pup.
6.  Waltzed right into one person's house and took off his boots.  Thankfully, we know this family well. ;)
7.  Sang probably two lines total.

But what he didn't do was more important.  He didn't...
1.  Refuse to walk.
2.  Scream or cry.
3.  Run away.
4.  Say anything inappropriate.  At least where people could hear.

All in all, I'll call it a success.  Considering that when we got home, he was soaking wet from all of his "snow-touching", I'd say he did far better than I would have expected.  We'll do it again next year, I hope. 

Rule #4 will be...only ring the doorbell once.

Christmas Eve

Here I sit, in the dark,
enjoying the twinkle of the lights on the tree,
envisioning the smiles the pile of presents will bring.
Loving my children...all of them.
The four snuggled up in their beds,
and the one snuggled in another house.
Our second Christmas without him.
Only this year, we know it's going to stay this way.

I am sorry, sorry to all of my children.
I cannot lessen this pain for you.
I can only love you through it,
and hope that one day,
long in the future,
things will be made right.
And maybe we'll all understand why this had to happen.

Because right now?  We just don't know...

For those who are hurting...

Are you hurting this Christmas?  Is there a pain so deep in you that sometimes you can barely breathe?  It could be almost anything causing this pain...the loss of a loved one, lengthy unemployment, a sick child or spouse, a prodigal child, separation from people we love, broken bones that won't heal.  The list goes on and on.  There are infinite number of things that cause pain in this world, and no one is exempt.  If you haven't experienced crushing heartache yet, you just haven't lived long enough. 

We can all ask God a multitude of questions, and I'm sure I'm not alone in doing so.  More often then not, though, answers don't come.  Not real answers.  You know, the kind that would take away this pain.  And yet, we hold on, and we keep going, just one more day.  One more moment at a time.  Sometimes that is all we can do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Four hundred years. 

That's how many years are between the Old Testament and New Testament.  What is just a page in the Holy Bible for us was a time of agonizing silence for them, a time where God did not speak revelation to them, a time where darkness seemed to reign and the hope of the Savior seemed to grow dimmer with each day.  I am sure it was difficult, close to impossible, to hold onto their hope that the Chosen One, the Redeemer, would come.

Isaiah said years and years before, "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. " (Isaiah 9:6)  So where was this child, this Mighty God, this Prince of Peace?  A little late, I would dare say.

But God is never late, is He?  While we are waiting for Him, it seems that He is, but once we can look back, we are always assured that His timing is perfect.  His timing to call your cherished loved one home.  His timing to heal broken bodies (and the healing is not always on this earth!).  His timing to draw the prodigal back home.  His timing to show us the next step on this journey. 

We will never have peace until we realize that God has a better plan than we could ever dream up.  I will never have peace until I submit my will to my loving Father God's.  But, oh, when we allow Him to work, the blessings we will see!  "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him!"  (1 Corinthians 12:9)

This Christmas, I am burdened by many struggles of life.  I don't know why God has my family and I where He has us.  I don't know why we are asked (but not really asked...who would accept this??) to walk through these things, and I have friends who are walking through far worse!  But I do know this...the Prince of Peace has COME!  He came to this earth on the very first Christmas, and nothing has ever been the same since.  So while you and I have heartache, pain, and struggles in life, we can rest in the fact that God knows.  Not only does He know, but He has a purpose and a plan in ALL things.

If you are reading this and have experienced the harsh realities of life this year, I pray that you will be abundantly blessed by the Giver of Hope.  I pray that you would be able to set aside the hurt and the tears, at least for long enough to know that even if God is currently silent in your life, He is there, and He loves you.  Rejoice in that!