Two years ago...

Brian's body was broken and smashed by a big stupid green tractor which was driven down the wrong side of the road.

I went looking for my MIA husband, and found a terrible accident scene.  I'm not sure those images will ever leave me.  When I think about it, I can see it all so clearly, and me running holding my big pregnant belly.

Hearing his screams, and being told I could not ride with him in the ambulance.  Driving back to the church alone, knowing that if I could just get back there, someone would take me to Syracuse so I could be with Brian.

The crazy ride with Tammy and Maria.  Their oh so normal and soothing conversation while I prayed over and over...please, God, no internal injuries and no head injury.

The ER nurse handed me a brown bag of bloody, cut up clothes, covered in tiny cubes of auto glass.  I fished his wallet out of the mess and washed the blood off it in the ER bathroom.

Staying with Brian as much as they would allow, constantly asking for more pain meds for him.  It was 9 hours between the accident and when they brought him into surgery.  Nine hours of bones sticking out of his skin, moaning in pain with no real relief.  He doesn't remember it, but I sure do.

Brian going into the OR, and Jenny staying with me until he got out around 1 am even though there was VBS first thing in the morning.  Six hours in surgery, putting Humpty Dumpty back together.

Finally laying down to sleep on the OR waiting room floor, where the contractions I had had all day intensified.  I told my unborn baby that now was really not a good time and to please stay inside.  And she did.

God touches that day...
Brian being alone in that car.
Brian living through the impact.
No internal or brain injuries.
The stranger that climbed in the car with Brian and stayed with him while the volunteer fire department freed him from the car.
The blanket of peace that fell over me and stayed there for a long time.  Maybe it was shock...but it was what I needed at that time, so I could do what needed doing.
Friends and family who instantly filled in the gaps where ever they appeared.

It's been a long two years.  God is faithful.  God is good.  Always.
Always.
Even when bones don't heal.
Even when a strong man sobs with pain.
Even when there is pain every day.
Even when there is no speedy justice.
Even when we hurt.
Always.  Always God is good and faithful.

To Him be the glory...