A letter for my children (and dogs)

Dear children,

Spring has sprung.  You have been itching to play outside for months now.  You will now be outside during all awake, non-school hours.  I will ring the (imaginary) dinner bell and serve your dinner on the porch.  You may come in at bed time, after being hosed off. 

Since the dogs share your affinity for mess and mud, they will be joining you outside.  They will also be hosed off before coming in for bed.

Now that my house will remain clean, since you will not be in it, I will have much more energy for other things, such as napping in the sun.

I am also sure that all of this fresh air will result in delightful, always obedient children who are absolutely enchanted with eating whatever wonderful, vegetable filled entree the mother you adore has made for you.

Oh, I love spring!  It has been such a long winter...